How do you change yourself? Often, change comes with, or as a result of pain. You have a heart attack and you change your eating habits. 

Forget love. The glue that makes a relationship stick is how you fight and forgive. Do you sulk when wounded? Do you go silent? Or do you shout and scream? My father did not shout. His response to my mother’s anger, usually hurled as questions from the kitchen, was to leave the space and bang the doors and windows, all the while, muttering to himself.